The Perfect Gem of Advice
Finally I have 5 seconds to catch up with everyone.
Greetings!!
It's been a while since I have had a chance to put anything together that wasn't for a publication.
It is also hard to believe that I'm in my 5th year with the Fox Theater and Midwest Rewind.
I've been very fortunate to be a part of such an amazing thespian community. There is something about the lights, and standing under Fox Theater marquee. There is nothing like it.
It is officially 2020 and has been for a minute. I am on the precipice of being a year older; that week where I tend to analyze everything to death.
So while we are currently dealing with the COVID-19, all of the shows I would have been reviewing are now canceled. BOO! So here I am, left to contemplate the last few moments of 38(my age).
Is it odd that years don't particularly stick out anymore? When I think if the past, my heart goes back to 26, but after that it all BLURS together. I will say that as a whole the 30s have not been the kindest. I use to fear turning 40. I use to feel like 40 was the race to the red flag. The first red flag, where I had to carry all of my accomplishments of my 20s and 30s. Then sitting just behind the red flag was this wall...the wall that held the mosaic tiles, that illuminate the time line of my life thus far.
What does my wall look like? How many of these tiles have I dropped on this perilous journey? Hell, some of my tiles are probably pulverized at this point. BUT I have NEW tiles as well. I have a year at Harvard under my belt and am now transferring into the Genetics program at Johns Hopkins. I have a few little ducks to get in a row first, but it will be an actual reality this year.
Regardless of my tattered appearance or pulverized tiles, I will arrive at the flag with a Crimson metal around my neck. My biggest goal from the age of 15-36...
While I am forever proud of that achievement, it didn't change me the way that I thought it would. It wasn't the forever tile, I thought I would hang my hat on. It was, however, a directional tile. Harvard paved the way in finding Johns Hopkins (technically they found me, but still...). One may have not happened without the other.
Here is what I have figured out so far... WATCH FOR THE SMALL FLAGS!!
The perilous journey of ups and downs, twists and turns, and sometimes flips in my case, all have little flags. WATCH FOR THEM. My decision to walk away from photography for a little while and apply to Harvard, all happened from a Time Magazine article. I actually had time to read sitting on the beach in Navarre, Florida.
My daughter was on a quest to find sand dollars. We started on Orange Beach in Alabama, and worked our way up the coast to Panama City Beach, Florida. In Navarre, I paid extra to be on a less crowded beach with the soon-to-be hatching baby sea turtles. I was reading an article about MCAT scores and top universities. In that article I realized that the scores needed to get in Wash U (the school I was already in) were higher than Harvard's. It was like my lightbulb came on. Why in hell am I not going to Harvard, then? That thought went swimming through my head for the next two days, as I soaked in the saltwater laying on my surf board. (*I do not surf, but surfboards make an excellent personal raft if you wish to swim out past the pier. Probably not safe for everyone. Watch the tide markers.)
I find A LOT of my best, small flags, when I am soaking in the ocean. I swear there is something in that water that gives me clarity. The saltwater renews my faith in humanity, and gives me some sort of direction. The saltwater is a gift. Maybe the sea turtle really is my spirit animal.
Back to the wall and the mosaic that is my existence. This is the gem of advice I found today; Micro-ambition!!
Not all my goals need to be these huge, life changing endeavors. The hustle is just as important if the goal has a shorter distance. In fact, I may be better equipt to catch opportunities I may have otherwise missed, if my eyes weren't constantly on a goal years in the future.
The moral of my story; as I constantly evaluate the distance to that red flag, throw those tiles in a backpack and keep running. This path is winding and while the flag seems close, there is still a great deal of path to go. My goal is to make 39 the year where I put my happiness and sanity above my need to obtain some sort of status goal. That by no means, means its time to be lazy. It means it's time to focus on the task in front of me. Its time to organize my tiles, and duct tape the ones that need it, and put them back in the bag for good measure.
Its time to collect more tiles by putting to good use some of the larger tiles I already have. Its time to admire some of the tiles held together by superglue, Band-Aids and LOT of duct tape. Those are the tiles that I EARNED. The tiles that changed me. The tiles that taught me that reinvention IS ok. In the long run, I believe that we CREATE this wall. That this wall is the fruit of our labor, a collection of our wins, our loves and the things that we lost. I also believe that the wall shapes us as well.
The great news that flag isn't a finish line. It's a mile marker, a place to empty your backpack, dust yourself off and keep going!!!
The beauty of it...40 is finally an acceptable age to SLOOOOOOWWWW the pace. Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of making 39 a dead sprint, but a reasonable pace. This year is not about collecting the largest tiles, its about collecting the prettiest tiles. The tiles that wrap up my first 40 into the most beautiful wall possible.
Last but not least, the shiniest gem of advice I have received is that "Happiness is like an orgasm, if you think about it too long, it goes away."
That last gem is for my people, the flock of over-thinkers. You are my flamingos. :)
Keep it colorful! Lots of Love,
Jen :)
Greetings!!
It's been a while since I have had a chance to put anything together that wasn't for a publication.
It is also hard to believe that I'm in my 5th year with the Fox Theater and Midwest Rewind.
I've been very fortunate to be a part of such an amazing thespian community. There is something about the lights, and standing under Fox Theater marquee. There is nothing like it.
It is officially 2020 and has been for a minute. I am on the precipice of being a year older; that week where I tend to analyze everything to death.
So while we are currently dealing with the COVID-19, all of the shows I would have been reviewing are now canceled. BOO! So here I am, left to contemplate the last few moments of 38(my age).
Is it odd that years don't particularly stick out anymore? When I think if the past, my heart goes back to 26, but after that it all BLURS together. I will say that as a whole the 30s have not been the kindest. I use to fear turning 40. I use to feel like 40 was the race to the red flag. The first red flag, where I had to carry all of my accomplishments of my 20s and 30s. Then sitting just behind the red flag was this wall...the wall that held the mosaic tiles, that illuminate the time line of my life thus far.
What does my wall look like? How many of these tiles have I dropped on this perilous journey? Hell, some of my tiles are probably pulverized at this point. BUT I have NEW tiles as well. I have a year at Harvard under my belt and am now transferring into the Genetics program at Johns Hopkins. I have a few little ducks to get in a row first, but it will be an actual reality this year.
Regardless of my tattered appearance or pulverized tiles, I will arrive at the flag with a Crimson metal around my neck. My biggest goal from the age of 15-36...
While I am forever proud of that achievement, it didn't change me the way that I thought it would. It wasn't the forever tile, I thought I would hang my hat on. It was, however, a directional tile. Harvard paved the way in finding Johns Hopkins (technically they found me, but still...). One may have not happened without the other.
Here is what I have figured out so far... WATCH FOR THE SMALL FLAGS!!
The perilous journey of ups and downs, twists and turns, and sometimes flips in my case, all have little flags. WATCH FOR THEM. My decision to walk away from photography for a little while and apply to Harvard, all happened from a Time Magazine article. I actually had time to read sitting on the beach in Navarre, Florida.
My daughter was on a quest to find sand dollars. We started on Orange Beach in Alabama, and worked our way up the coast to Panama City Beach, Florida. In Navarre, I paid extra to be on a less crowded beach with the soon-to-be hatching baby sea turtles. I was reading an article about MCAT scores and top universities. In that article I realized that the scores needed to get in Wash U (the school I was already in) were higher than Harvard's. It was like my lightbulb came on. Why in hell am I not going to Harvard, then? That thought went swimming through my head for the next two days, as I soaked in the saltwater laying on my surf board. (*I do not surf, but surfboards make an excellent personal raft if you wish to swim out past the pier. Probably not safe for everyone. Watch the tide markers.)
I find A LOT of my best, small flags, when I am soaking in the ocean. I swear there is something in that water that gives me clarity. The saltwater renews my faith in humanity, and gives me some sort of direction. The saltwater is a gift. Maybe the sea turtle really is my spirit animal.
Back to the wall and the mosaic that is my existence. This is the gem of advice I found today; Micro-ambition!!
Not all my goals need to be these huge, life changing endeavors. The hustle is just as important if the goal has a shorter distance. In fact, I may be better equipt to catch opportunities I may have otherwise missed, if my eyes weren't constantly on a goal years in the future.
The moral of my story; as I constantly evaluate the distance to that red flag, throw those tiles in a backpack and keep running. This path is winding and while the flag seems close, there is still a great deal of path to go. My goal is to make 39 the year where I put my happiness and sanity above my need to obtain some sort of status goal. That by no means, means its time to be lazy. It means it's time to focus on the task in front of me. Its time to organize my tiles, and duct tape the ones that need it, and put them back in the bag for good measure.
Its time to collect more tiles by putting to good use some of the larger tiles I already have. Its time to admire some of the tiles held together by superglue, Band-Aids and LOT of duct tape. Those are the tiles that I EARNED. The tiles that changed me. The tiles that taught me that reinvention IS ok. In the long run, I believe that we CREATE this wall. That this wall is the fruit of our labor, a collection of our wins, our loves and the things that we lost. I also believe that the wall shapes us as well.
The great news that flag isn't a finish line. It's a mile marker, a place to empty your backpack, dust yourself off and keep going!!!
The beauty of it...40 is finally an acceptable age to SLOOOOOOWWWW the pace. Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of making 39 a dead sprint, but a reasonable pace. This year is not about collecting the largest tiles, its about collecting the prettiest tiles. The tiles that wrap up my first 40 into the most beautiful wall possible.
Last but not least, the shiniest gem of advice I have received is that "Happiness is like an orgasm, if you think about it too long, it goes away."
That last gem is for my people, the flock of over-thinkers. You are my flamingos. :)
Keep it colorful! Lots of Love,
Jen :)
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